When we start out dating each other before marriage there was that magical connection that felt like a magnet that drew us to each other. It was the synchronisation of values, thoughts, behaviour and then blended lifestyle that shaped our actions towards each other. Some call it the love dance where you find yourself finishing each other’s sentences, you feel like you’ve know each other for eternity and you definitely find it difficult to leave each other for a few hours. You yearn and look forward to seeing each other again and eventually you can’t bear the distance between you anymore and you decide to get married. In these early days of the relationship, what we were dancing to is the prelude to the real music.
Courtship gives us a glimpse of the dance – we learn to trust each other, have faith in one another, learn each other’s likes and dislikes and most times we ignore the dislikes or we don’t particularly pay attention to them because at the time they didn’t matter. All that mattered was our love for each other. Then the once very active and captivating salsa turns into a slow boring dance. We lose interest and find other means of entertainment possibly not involving both parties but yet we are still hearing the sound of the music.
How do we lose our rhythm…?
Selfishness is the main reason why we lose our rhythm. We stop focussing on the relationship, but on ourselves. We stop thinking about our spouses, and how to make them happy or feel better – we start keeping tabs of wrongs and we forget that everything we are good at is a gift from God. Interestingly, the rhythm is not lost in a day but gradually. Little by little we stop doing little things that really count and by the time we’ve withdrawn all those things that we shared and which brought us together in the first place we lose the rhythm. No one really sets out to withdraw time spent together, gifts, laughter, breakfast in bed, etc. – we just can’t seem to find the time to do these things anymore. Why – simply because we believe they are no longer necessary, we don’t feel obliged to do them anymore, or we simply question the reasoning behind doing these things in the first place.
Then the crack happens in the marriage as we give in to other things fighting for our attention and time at the expense of our relationship with the person God has placed in our life for a reason. Yes, there is a reason behind you losing focus – it’s to stop you from being in agreement with each other. When you are in agreement – you are in Partnership, working together for a common good. All things are possible when two come together to agree on something. There’s an unexplainable miracle that makes things happen when you are in love and working together.
Why should you find your rhythm…?
Your life depends on it. God brought you together for a reason – to fulfil a special assignment and purpose. The devil has come to kill, steal and destroy this plan and will stop at nothing to distract you and ensure you do not fulfil this mandate. He has seen the glory ahead of your marriage and what you can achieve together and wants to stop you at all cost. The other issue about rhythm is timing. Procrastination is also a tool of the enemy. Do not delay in taking action today – tomorrow might be too late. Here are some benefits of finding your rhythm again:
- You move into a position of agreement and authority
- You step-up your game, emotionally, financially etc.
- You find fulfilment and joy in your marriage again.
- You enter into God’s divine purpose and agenda for your life.
How do we find your rhythm…?
To find your rhythm you need to retrace your steps. This has to be timely and intentional. You cannot leave it till it is too late. When you lose a valuable item you start looking for it immediately, the ideal thing is to retrace your steps to everywhere you have been, looking carefully under stuff intently to find this lost item. We would even go on our knees to look under areas that are not visible from our standing level…yes, we need to seek God’s face, His presence, increased revelation and then divine restoration. Oh the joy and relief we experience when we find each other again.
At our Weekend to Remember Couples Retreat (7th-9th October 2016), we will be focussing on finding and keeping your rhythm through the Power of Agreement and how to harness this strategic plan for your marriage and family. Don’t leave things until it’s too late. Spaces are limited and as a matter of fact just a couple of spaces are left, so don’t miss it. We look forward to seeing you and witnessing the supernatural being unfolded in your marriage.